Thank you for joining us for another episode of Brilliant Talks, our free weekly coaching program for real estate agents. Today, Mark, Jacob, and I talk about something a little different. It might seem, at first glance, to have nothing to do with real estate, which is true. But it does have an impact on our business and personal lives.

What are the things that worry you?

Often, we hear that “what we focus on is what we become,” and that applies to both the positive and negative influences in our lives. But we often don’t think about how the worries we have behind the scenes—our state of mind and the anxieties we feel—affect the way we show up, perform, and interact with other people in our lives, whether they be clients, family, or friends.

While it is understandable to worry about these things and prepare for them as much as we can, it is easy to get stuck and distracted—focusing on the wrong things instead of putting our best effort into taking the actions we need.

Here are some other common fears and mindsets we have that might be holding us back from thriving in our businesses and reaching our goals.

Fear of the unknown

Fear of what might happen in the future causes us anxiety. For business owners and entrepreneurs, the most common fear of the unknown we face is where to get the next dollar to keep our business running successfully.

While making the best possible preparations for the future is a good idea, it is simple to become paralyzed by the fear of the unknown.

Take real estate as an example. Just last year, we'd all grown tired of asking or hearing the question, “Is there going to be a housing crash?” The debates online and in the media were endless, and there was a constant fear of where the market was heading looming over everyone’s heads.

This fear has pushed some agents out of the industry, and people are increasingly apprehensive about buying or selling homes.

Even experts change their stance so often because new data comes in to refine their forecasts and predictions. Consider the most recent Fortune piece, "Goldman Sachs makes a bold housing market call," as an illustration.

In that article, they said that the investment company adjusted its predictions for home prices this year (2023) from a forecast of a decrease of 6.1% (January 10) to just 2.6% (February 6). They also say that national home prices will be down 6% from their peak in June 2022, which is significantly less than what they originally thought (around 10%).

The point is whether there will be a housing crash or not—although, as we’ve been saying since Day 1, there is no crash, just a correction. It is about focusing on what we can do right now to survive and thrive, regardless of what happens.

We are more resilient than we think. We just need to focus on the right things: not the things outside of our control, but the action steps we can take to keep moving forward.

What are the things you need to do to keep getting new business? Lean into your strengths, and when you can, learn new skills to add to your toolbelt for your business.

When we focus on what we have and what we can do, we change how we look at situations, and when we change the way we look at things, we have the opportunity to change the outcomes we achieve.

Negative thoughts

Overthinking negative scenarios can easily lead to feeling hopeless and helpless. And as Jacob said, “negativity breeds negativity." If you focus on the negative things, you will never run out of new problems to see.

It is very similar to the fear of the unknown. And overcoming it is very similar too: focus on the things you can do, change what you can, and improvise as you go along. There will always be new problems for us, in business and in life. It is how we handle those problems that makes or breaks us.


Sometimes, we have unrealistic expectations of ourselves. Yes, we need to provide excellence in our work, but excellence doesn’t mean perfection. You are not always required to have all the answers. 

Sometimes, it is okay to not know what to do to get to your goals simply because you’ve never been there before.

The best way to deal with perfectionism is to simply let go. Admit that it is impossible to do things perfectly—at least not all the time. Mistakes will be made, and that is okay too.

Focus on what you can learn from those mistakes instead of beating yourself up about them.

It also helps to ask yourself: “What is something I can do more of if I can only let go of perfectionism? 

For some, it could be showing up more authentically and consistently on social media, instead of being so focused on presenting a curated version of yourself. For others, it could be something else.

Do not overthink it. Sometimes, the problem also stems from thinking that we have to present ourselves in a certain way in order to be liked or to succeed.

Just be yourself, do your best, and focus on continuously improving.

Control issues

There are things that we have no control over. We just need to be comfortable accepting that reality. We are not going to be able to do everything. In fact, if you want to grow and scale in business, you shouldn’t think that you have to do everything.

We need to be able to let go of wanting to control everything and trust the people around us to help us achieve our goals. Imperfections are better than not getting things done.

Trusting others and empowering them to do some of the stuff that needs to be done helps free up some of your time so you can focus on other important things, such as doing our main job: creating relationships.

Constant comparison

It is easy to fall into the comparison trap, especially if you are a newer agent. You see all these other agents who have been in the industry for a while and are doing it successfully, and sometimes you compare yourself to them, and it makes you feel like you are not good enough.

On the other hand, you might see other agents doing worse than you, and start to mock them to feel good about yourself.

You have to acknowledge that we all go through life at our own pace. Some people might seem to be ahead of you, and others might seem like they are lagging behind, but no one is late or early. We all operate on our own time.

Focus on your own journey and be yourself. The goal is not to be the best—that is just a by-product of doing the right things. The goal is to be better than you were yesterday. And if you slip up or fall back every now and then, just get back up and start working on yourself again.


Sometimes we question our own abilities or the decisions we’ve made. We ask questions like “Am I good enough?” or “Did I make the right choice to be a real estate agent?”

When we doubt ourselves, it creates stress and anxiety because we ask the wrong questions.

Instead, we should focus on asking, “What is it that I need to do today to achieve my goals?” Focus on your strengths. Identify areas where you can grow and improve. Always ground yourself in your purpose.

Look back on the reason why you started out in the first place and remind yourself constantly. Reflect on how far you’ve come since then. 

At the end of the day, the job doesn’t identify who we are—our purpose and our actions do. 

We just need to focus on constantly making ourselves a little bit better than we were yesterday. And sometimes, the people we surround ourselves with can make a difference in helping us achieve that. If you are looking for coaching on how to become not just better agents but better leaders as well, join us in our one-on-one or group coaching sessions. Feel free to message me if you are interested. 

Have an awesome day!